The first time I met Friend was the first day I went target shooting with him and my then-boyfriend / now-husband. My maternal grandmother had just passed away the night before, so I needed a last-minute distraction before traveling for the funeral. Friend was very polite and kind. He’d always been, and his Glock was actually the first gun I ever shot, because it had a lot less kick than my husband’s Glock. He grew up with my husband and had traveled with him several times. He was very independent, very much into gaming and unique movies, and shared many similarities with my husband and I. Like me, he loved Harry Potter (the books and the movies) and comedian Brian Regan, and like my husband, he enjoyed traveling and trying new things. He was adventurous and had a great sense of humor. Every week, we hung out together. For so long, it was just the three of us hanging together quite often. The three of us traveled to Spain together, as well as Texas, Colorado, and Oklahoma. Other times, we hung out around our hometown. His apartment was always messy, so we more often hung out at our place, whether that meant watching movies, gaming where I looked on (I’m not a gamer, haha), or going out somewhere either seeing a movie or trying a new restaurant. He was the best man in our wedding. He was always a great encouragement and an excellent listener. Friend and I chipped in money together to buy my husband a rifle for his birthday in 2017. Essentially, he was our family, and was like a brother to each of us.
But one day, he disappeared. I can’t tell you why or how he disappeared, because I really don’t know. The only thing I pray is left for him to hold onto is a letter that each of us sent to him, with the reminder that we would always miss him and love him. This July will be three years since he disappeared.
Now, there will forever be a missing piece within our lives. My husband’s favorite pizza place will no longer be the same. Target shooting isn’t as fun. The band Chvrches, the one he introduced us to, will forever remind us of him. Even going to church isn’t the same, because the three of us sat in the same pew together, singing and worshipping the Lord. I always joked with him that one day he’ll be an “uncle” to our kids, and he said he looked forward to it. I hope that one day he’ll discover he has a “nephew.”
Life can give you some nasty twists and turns, and sometimes, I fear that I’ll never stop occasionally having dreams about him. My husband has dreams about him sometimes, too, but I’m one who always has vivid dreams. Once I dreamt I saw him at church, but every time I stepped forward, the place where he stood kept drifting further away.
My husband and I miss him every day. Which is why I’d like to share some life lessons that Friend taught us while he was around, whether he realized he was teaching them or not. I hope that at least a couple of them will be useful to all of you.
1.) Whenever you are going through a trial in your life and it hits you hard, just have the don’t-care attitude. Not like you don’t care about the other person or don’t care how the situation will go. But if you establish a don’t-care attitude, you won’t be filled with worries and fears in your life, and it’ll even help you heal faster.
2.) Sometimes life can get messy, but it’s how you handle life that makes it all the more worthwhile.
3.) Mountain Dew is the best soda to wake up from, especially if you were a night owl like him.
4.) Cheese pizza. Yes, always.
5.) Sometimes it’s best just to put on some headphones and drown out your blues with some tunes.
6.) Sleep is overrated, but it’s also underrated.
7.) “Blackety black black.” – Brian Regan. There’s no such thing as wearing too much black.
8.) Be adventurous and try a little of everything in your life. Live without regrets.
9.) Friendship is at the top of the list of being one of the most important and best parts of living.
10.) First and foremost – trust God no matter what, more than anything, and never stop trusting Him. Just have faith that everything will work out.
I’m writing to ask you; did you achieve all you wanted to do?
Before we were dragged up, something was different and nothing was new
How did you see me?
We didn’t know what we wanted to be
When did we move on?
I didn’t feel it, nobody told me
Time to kill
Was always an illusion
Time stood still
And now we never will, never will
We wrote our names along the bathroom walls
Graffitiing our hearts across the stalls
I’ve been waiting for my whole life to grow old
And now we never will, never will
Come home, Friend. Just come home.
Do you have a friend or family member who you really care about and in whom you share a ton of wonderful stories? Are these stories happy or sad? Filled with tons of humor? I’d love to hear about them 🙂 Comment below!